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Literature Text
They both had a passion.
His passion was for paint, his desire to make beauty out of blankness.
Her passion was life itself, and her ability to find beauty was what drew her to him.
Together, their passion appeared to be unbreakable.
But in time, it faded, and he was left with an empty canvas.
His passion was for paint, his desire to make beauty out of blankness.
Her passion was life itself, and her ability to find beauty was what drew her to him.
Together, their passion appeared to be unbreakable.
But in time, it faded, and he was left with an empty canvas.
For flash fiction month. I've been behind, I'm afraid, but this is one of the pieces I've written that I am particularly proud of. It's a 55 word story, one of two that I have written so far. Critiques and comments are appreciated, as always.
© 2012 - 2024 Creativity-Squared
Comments5
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I loved this. The metaphors are fantastic! I couldn't have put it better myself. This piece screams passion and beauty. It shows what should really matter in life, and the differences between what matters to each person specifically. It was a beautiful romance story, although the ending I wasn't expecting and felt some sorrow for such a beautiful piece to end so abruptly and sad.
My critique (as there are a little above, also.) Is to add more emotions inside the person, not exactly just coming off of them. I find that it would be more relatable to the audience, but there was plenty emotion radiating off the piece already. I'd love if you went into more detail about the ending. The story completely flips with the last line; which I don't know if you were trying to do, but, to me I need a little more detail about the sorrow before ending it so fast and abruptly; as I said above.
My favorite line was:
"he was left with an empty canvas."
It was the perfect metaphor and ending. (but, like I said, I'd like to see it leading up to that)
great work overall though! I'm impressed. c:
My critique (as there are a little above, also.) Is to add more emotions inside the person, not exactly just coming off of them. I find that it would be more relatable to the audience, but there was plenty emotion radiating off the piece already. I'd love if you went into more detail about the ending. The story completely flips with the last line; which I don't know if you were trying to do, but, to me I need a little more detail about the sorrow before ending it so fast and abruptly; as I said above.
My favorite line was:
"he was left with an empty canvas."
It was the perfect metaphor and ending. (but, like I said, I'd like to see it leading up to that)
great work overall though! I'm impressed. c: